(Be)Truth :: Rend Your Heart

My morning studies brought me to this beautiful passage.

Remember today, all you need to do is REND your heart

THINK upon the Lord

and he will be GRACIOUS and COMPASSIONATE!

I seek to (Be)Truth in my life, and one of those ways are these weekly posts. If you're also putting truth out on this crazy world wide web, feel free to link up by adding your post in the form below!

Becoming (BE)Loved :: When Doubt Enters

Doubt entered into my life at the age of 12. Doesn't it come into everyone's life somewhere around there. Teenage years are difficult with body changes, the start of middle school, and boys only "sort of have cooties."

But more than anything for me, this was doubt in my relationship with Christ. 
As I mentioned,I didn't have a singular conversion experience. God was simply a part of my life because I went to church and I obeyed my parents and I enjoyed VBS and church camps. 

I remember QUESTIONING God to see if he would miraculously tell me that I'd get to spend eternity with him and "properly" hold the title Christian.

One summer day I was sitting in our mostly empty pool 

(only mostly empty because it was being worked on... we didn't make it a habit to have an empty pool)

with my feet several inches away from the water, praying:

"God, if I'm really saved, then let that water touch my feet."

And when it didn't MIRACULOUSLY rush over my whole foot, 

my fear and desperation inched me forward physically

and repeated the question till I myself slipped my toes into the water.

The following fall I entered to the youth group.

And with youth group came weekend conferences.

Places full of people who were raising there hands, passionate speakers who talked about P.U. (Persecution University) and door-to-door evangelism, and the POWER OF THE LOVE OF GOD! Conferences where you were supposed to invite your non-Christian friends so that they could hear about Christ and choose to follow him. And at the end of everyone of these conferences they'd do the "alter call" and thousands of people would go down to the front and pray with someone and accept Christ into their life. And their whole lives would change. They had their CONVERSION MOMENT.

And while they had their MOMENT, my doubt deepened -

Maybe I'm not saved.

Maybe God doesn't love me because I've never said those exact words to invite him into my heart.

But others THINK I'm a Christian, so I was ashamed to ever walk to the front.

But I wanted to be "safe."

I wanted to get to spend eternity in heaven with the rest of family. 

I didn't want to go to Hell.

So every conference I went to, I SECRETLY prayed THE prayer. I let worry and doubt drag on my young mind and hid the fear that maybe I wasn't a Christian.

{...}To Be Continued 

M&P :: Prayer Wall

So I've lived in Chicago for just over two years now. Since moving here in July of 2011, I've moved 4 times. And finally I'm some place that I hope to stay for the next several years :) And it's a roommate situation rather than a host family situation. Which means I get to decide on furniture, artwork, paint colors and 

SO MUCH MORE!

However, settling takes time, and making it into a home is not an overnight thing

(check out a really good post about that {HERE} by Stephanie)

So even though I officially moved out of my parents house in OKC and into this one last May, I still have very few things hanging on my wall. But one that I did finally get up before summer ended is THIS:

MY PRAYER BOARD

I had a beautifully blank wall over my desk that I realized I stared at all the time. And with a roommate in the ministry field along with other family and friends spread all the way across the world, I thought this would be a great way to focus in on intentional prayers.

All it took was:
 {THIS} map
Cork Board {SQUARES}
3M stickies
Ribbon
Push pins
Paper & Photos - for all the people you're praying for!

And to inspire you on setting physical reminders for yourself in your next DIY project
REND COLLECTIVE EXPERIMENT!

How have you been productive recently?