Jealousy or Joy.. My Choice

For forty days I'm deliberately choosing to find joy. To start from the beginning, click here 

Day 33

chara

- to rejoice, Joy, rejoicing, gladness

- generally (Matt 2:10; Lk 1:14 where it is joined with agalliasis, exultation or great joy; 15:8,7,10; Jn 3:29; 15:11; 16:20-22,24; 17:13; Ac 8:8, 13:52; 15:3; Rom 4:17, "joy in the Holy Ghost" meaning the joy which the Holy Spirit imparts by His influence, 15:13; 2 Cor 1:24; 2:3; 7:4,13; 8:2; Gal 5:22; Phil 1:25, joy of faith, meaning in & arising from the faith of the gospel; 2:2,29; 1 Thess 1:6, 3:9; 2 Tim 1:4; Phile 1:7; Jm 4:9; 1 Pet 1:8; 1 Jn 1:4; 2 Jn 1:12)

- from or for joy (Matt 13:44; Luk 24:41; Ac 12:14)

- with joy, joyfully, rejoicing (Matt 13:20; 28:8; Mk 4:16; Lk 8:13; 10:17; 24:25; Ac 20:24; Phil 1:4; Col 1:11; Heb 10:34; 13:17; Sept. 1 Chron. 29:22

- in joy, joyfully (Rom 15:32)

- metonymically the cause, ground, occasion of joy (Lk 2:10; PHil 4:1; 1 Thess 2:19,20; Jm 1:2; 3 Jn 1:4)

- Metonymically meaning enjoyment, fruition of joy, bliss (Matt 25:21, 23; Heb 12:2)

"I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons who do not need to repent."
Luke 15:7

"In the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of he angels of God over one sinne who repents."
Luke 15:10

"The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom wants and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the brideroom's voice. That joy is mine and is now complete."
John 3:29

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Today's joy post is going to be a little different, but please bear with me.

One of the things I love about my job is that we start every morning with a song of praise and studying a passage of scripture together.  We are currently studying through the book of John.

We came upon the passage in Luke 3 where Jesus's disciples are baptizing near the location as John the Baptist and his disciples. Now John's disciples seem to get a little jealous of those who are beginning to follow Jesus' teachings over their own master's.

BUT, John is quick to rebuke them and proclaim that his joy is complete when people follow Jesus (the one he had been proclaiming about all along).

The conversation was making several points, but our facilitator for the day pulled us back into this idea of JOY by opening her own heart to us.
Her point:
Jealousy kills our ability to be joyful. 

Oh how I have seen this in my own life. 

Jealousy has flared in my life far too often over the past four years.

Jealousy for...
those who got a boyfriend before me
the girl who stayed up late talking to the guy I had a crush on
for the girl who got her first kiss, and then her first kiss in the rain while I'm still waiting for mine.
for the girls who got engaged
and then chose other friends to be their bridesmaids
not being the first to know exciting and intimate news

Jealousy for all these things that I am supposed to rejoice in with my friends and instead I am allowing myself to sulk.
Jealousy when I have been equipped by the Spirit with Joy.

Jealousy when I have received the most perfect gift from a Gracious and Merciful Heavenly Creator and I fling it away for the lonely feeling of jealousy.

And so, today, in hopes of not missing another moment to rejoice (truly rejoice with the same joy that God has when the one lost sheep is found) I'm apologizing for my jealousy.

I'm choosing to see those moments for what they truly are and ask God to help me replace that jealousy in future with true Joy that can only come from Him.

So Dear Friends,
(you know who you are)
 I apologize. 

I have felt over the past week as I've contemplated this thought on jealousy how to apologize for things that time has slipped over and pushed aside. Events have happened no matter what i feel. So bringing it back up now in person or over the phone did not seem appropriate. But I hope that you understand that this is the sincerest apology I can offer, for I am truly repentant of how I have felt and the actions that have come from that.
I am sorry for missing that opportunity to rejoice with you in your moments of blessing.
Know that I love you and I thank you for loving me through my jealousy.
My prayer for the future is that God will continue to work on this jealous heart of mine that I may not miss more of those opportunities.
Love,
Heather